One negative fifty-four degree night in January this fluffy little cat showed up on our porch. Coach kept telling me NO, but did I listen? I could not let her freeze to death; Heck we were cold in the house. The boys and I made her a bed in our laundry room and gave her a name. Bomber---she was black and orange. Perfect! She really is a nice cat. As soon as it warmed up Bomber went back outside. A few months later, she had three kittens. "Are we keeping them mom? Mom, we can't give her babies away." Again, didnt say NO. Leo, Buttercup and Scaredy-Cat now became my grandchildren. (On a side bar--Cameron named them) Buttercup and Scaredy-Cat went on "vacation"--yikes, it was sad. Cameron says they went to Florida. Leo is still hanging around. Well--here we are--a few more months later. Bomber gave birth on Thursday night to six, yes six, kitties. Two went to heaven. Cameron, the official cat-namer has decided on Sunshine, Scout, Hershey and Tooties Roll. Just think if we just would have said NO that very cold night all the fun we would have missed.
Speaking of saying NO--Justice has no problem with it. This often gets him a spanking or a trip to time out. I showed him a house I really liked on the internet this weekend. His response was, "Woman, do you have any idea what the property tax will be--geesh!" Unfortunately, he's probably right. I guess I'll say NO.
Cameron told me he has tons of friends at school. I asked him, "how do you have so many friends?" He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "I never tell anyone NO when they want to play with me. duh." This seems to work in pre-school, not so much on the adult play ground. I praised him for always being a friend and left it at that. I was to tired for a life lesson. Why you ask, because I had said yes for to many requests that day. Shocker.
Another shocker in Keeneville is we lost Coach two months early this season. Why you ask? Well, he can't say no either. When he says yes, there's a ripple effect. And most of that ripple floods on good ole mom. More weekends cooking, cleaning and schedules preparing for the next week. More running kids places and dinners alone. More feelings like I am carrying the burden and it kinda makes me sad. Less time to relax, take a long walk or maybe do something just for me. It's very hurtful that everyone wants mom to have the big job and make the big money; but everyone see's Coach as the hero. Most people say NO to giving me any empathy. And that's all I'm looking for, empathy. (Kudos to my sister and my business manger for being my support) Anyhoo, I'll save it for my therapist and say NO to sharing more thoughts.
I am convinced that one of the main reasons our lives get out of balance is because of that dirty word NO. It just comes natural for us to be multi-taskers and people-pleasers. We Keene's don’t want to disappoint anybody. But the truth is, we can't do it all. So, I’m learning to say NO to a lot of requests for my time, especially now. That way I’ll have the energy and emotion I need to give to those closest to me. I know I’ll disappoint someone but I won’t be as likely to disappoint those I love most, which includes God and my family. For now, I'm going to say NO to a Sunday afternoon nap and finish my six meals ready for this crazy week, the 4 loads of laundry and our dirty house. I'm saying YES to interviewing a housekeeper...
