Happy Birthday to me....
Thirty-eight is right smack in the middle of life. Thirty-eight is realizing there are just as many years ahead of you, as behind you. Its realizing that decisions made now, most were learning lessons. Its realizing that certain doors are closed for good. Thirty-eight answers those burning childhood questions about life. Blonde, blue eyes, two boys, house, and a cat.
Thirty-eight are those lines around my eyes. The dark circles under my eyes. Thirty-eight is responsbility and less fun. Thirty-eight is being the boss. Thirty-eight is more about making the best decision, rather than the most popular decision. Thirty-eight is realizing that bad things happen for a reason, even when you were wrongly fired. Thirty-eight professionally stands your ground when you believe in the cause.
Thirty-eight is wearing my wedding ring. Thirty-eight is not knowing which ring was my wedding ring and which one was my five year anniversary gift because they are identical.
Thirty-eight is realizing what shorts are to short. Thirty-eight is moving from a bikini to a tankini or even a one piece. Thirty-eight is about working out, not eating like a cow and still gaining weight. Thirty-eight is about trying to embrace the baby body left behind.
Thirty-eight is taking an all inclusive vacation for 3 nights just to sleep and read all day. Thirty-eight is a mini vacation to the grocery store. Thirty-eight is making a trip to the movie theater only to see a kids flick.
Thirty-eight is eleven years of marriage. Its knowing that marriage is less about keeping score, less candlelight dinners, less drama, more forgiveness, more teamwork and more empathy. Fewer flowers, but more cups of tea made exactally how I like them without being asked and brought to the bathroom while I get ready for work. Everyday. Yep, everyday.
Thirty-eight is losing your grandparents. Going to more funerals and hearing about someones newly diagnosed illness. Thirty-eight is the middle place. Its when you see your parents changing and turning grey.
Thirty-eight is knowing who your friends are, for real. Thirty-eight is realizing that not everyone will like you and its okay. Thirty-eight is becoming more sensitive and more aware of lifes beauty and pain. Thirty-eight knows my sister is my best friend. Thirty-eight looks forward to our ten min talks before work. Thirty-eight still thinks of her in those pink jelly shoes waiting at the front door after school to greet me. Thirty-eight is knowing how to be emotionally mature on social media when others are not nice. Thirty-eight is making people speak to you when you know it killed them to acknowledge your presence.
Thirty-eight is a love affair with motherhood. Thirty-eight is watching these little teeny people bloom and grown into big kids. Thirty-eight is about pre-school and third grade, putting kids on a bus and praying they get off at the right stop. Thirty-eight is about tiny peoples questions after questions and trying to keep your patience while you answer over and over. Thirty-eight is comparing yourself to all the other moms at school, ugh. Thirty-eight is still cool to kiss your mom good-bye and cheer when you pick them up.
Thirty-eight is not afraid to pray in a crowd. Thirty-eight allows you to share your faith and not worry about what others might think. Thirty-eight realizes the power of God, the healing of his peace and trusting him is vital. Thirty-eight listens to christian talk radio all the way to work and home, just to get a nugget of hope for the day.
Thirty-eight is going to be my year of change. The year I put myself first and realize if I'm not healthy, how can I take care of others? Thirty-eight is going to leave the laundry for another day to play Ninja turtles in the living room. Thirty-eight will rebound for Justice in the drive. Thirty-eight is loving my nephew so much it hurts; and becoming an Aunt again. Thirty-eight; I finally get that little girl we have all dreamed about. (whoa, my sister is having a girl, not me) Thirty-eight is going to take more days off. Thirty-eight just might start golfing again. Thirty-eight is okay with a long weekend just sitting on the porch. My birthday gift to myself today is permission. Permission to just take a deep breath and be. Just be...
