Cursed out this week--4
Punch List--3
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25
2013 has been rough. From floods to fires to court dates to stalkers--its been real bad. As I sit here with a spiked Capri-Sun in my hand, and still somewhat bitter about my Spaghetti-O birthday, I pray for grace. I love this verse above and I pray to be this woman. I need to laugh more. I love that nothing takes her swagger. It takes some Godly strength to push back from the pressure of this world. When I think about all the energy I have exerted on negativity I pray for a change. When some people need a change they go to happy hour or a therapist. And when I need a change, I go to daycare.
When I walk into the blue room with ten little cribs, I reach specifically for my lil Hootie. This is my special name for my nephew Tristan. Zach continues to say, "Really Andrea, are you going to call him that when he's older?" My reply is normally a dirty look. Hoot and I play for awhile. Then we rock with a bottle until he falls asleep. I lay him down in the crib with a delicate kiss. I never can just leave. I find myself being drawn in by some of the babies that are crying. I stop. Shake some toys or move them to a swing. I hate to see them cry. I smile and laugh. They laugh back. I have no idea what their names are or what parents they belong to. I just know I would want someone to love my kid when I was not available.
Driving back to work it hit me. I am exactly where God wants me to be. Forty nine incidents and all. Just like me, Hootie has someone watching over him during the day giving him everything he needs. When I feel alone at the big desk, Christ is moving me to a swing or shaking a toy over me saying, "stop crying, you are valuable." He reminds me that he will never leave me, just like those moms/dads that drop off. He reminds me I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. And Boom---When I remember these promises---that woman of strength and dignity appears! So how in the world did I make it thirty seven years without knowing how selfish I really was? On another note, why did God throw me into the deep end of the corporate pool when I only know how to doggie paddle?
Well, in spite of my selfishness God sees the person I will become. God sees the person I am becoming. And that my readers--is true grace. Not the forty nine incidents just this year--he sees how that crisis is shaping me into the woman with strength and dignity. Wow--Stick a fork in it, done. Boom. Proverbs woman or bust.
