I hate it. Sometimes it sneaks up on you out of nowhere. Sometimes it’s a song. Sometimes it’s a text. Sometimes it’s a commercial. Oh yeah, and its graduation time; that does it to me too. And sometimes your mind just goes there.... What do I hate? Tears.
Today, as I was driving in my car I heard a song that reminded me of my last five years. First, I started to sing with a smile. Next, quiet. Then I felt the anger inside my belly. And now my lip began to quiver. Dang it. I hate to cry. I feel like it shows I’m weak. But in actuality it’s a symbol of how much I care. We are still only 90 days out, and I still care. And---it sucks.
On a sunnier side, I do love my new job. I asked my mentor about six months ago, “How will I know when I have found my place?” His answer was simple. “Andrea. You will know. Your heart will whisper it to you.” Did you hear anything about tears in that phrase? Uh, no!?! Six week into this new role I drove home from work and BOOM---it hit me. I got all choked up at the stop light right in front of Dairy Queen. And--—they can see you in your car from the line. Where are my Hollywood sunglasses when I need them? Oh, that’s right. Justice sat on them. I had a moment, waiting on the light to turn green, and he was right! My heart told me things I’ve needed to hear for two years. The second thing it whispered was—you need a Blizzard—but I kept going. Phew…
I dusted off my clubs on a MONDAY to play in a golf outing. Holy smokes. One, I’m golfing. Two, it’s a workday. With the way I played I should have bought a lotto ticket. Pretty sure the Golden Eagles would have been proud. Felt like wearing my Letterman jacket to the after party dinner, buuuutttt I would have been a tad bit over dressed. Ha. Just kidding. That was my cocky husband talking. I was honestly super proud to not have embarrassed myself. I enjoyed the entire afternoon golfing with my favorite partner, my dad. Yep—that chokes me up right there. Some of my best memories in life are with my dad on the golf course. Yet another place, my heart whispers, is the right place to be… Justice met me in the garage when I got home. “Where’s your trophy?” Justice, I told you it was for fun. “Mom, I expected more, maybe next time. Now come upstairs and tell me where you lost shots.” Yep, that’s a coach’s kid for ya. Always wanting to get better and, of course, WIN!
Lastly, Justice had me mail a letter this week to Rory Mcilroy. One of the best golfers on tour right now. Seems like a great role model too. I took a peak at the letter before I licked the envelop. Because that’s what moms do, right. Justice says, “Dear Rory, I know you can win the Masters. I believe in you. Keep your head up. I am your biggest fan. Don’t let a bad round stop you from winning the next. Will you write me back? P.S. You better watch out, I’m practicing every day to beat you! Your friend, Justice” Talk about getting a life lesson from a nine year old. And again, in the quiet of my red Camry on Pearl Street while placing the stamp on the white envelop, I sobbed. I heard my heart whispering again. I must be doing something right….
