Golf @ the Country Club with Grandpa

TEAM KEENE: FAMILY, VALUES and LEADING PEOPLE

It’s never too late to start heading in the right direction. There is a valuable life lesson somewhere smack in the depth of tournament time. Survive and advance is not for the soft hearted. Winning is important to our family, but what brings us real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever we are doing. It's not human nature to be great. It's human nature to survive, to be average and do what you have to do to get by. That is normal. When you have something good happen, it's the special people that can stay focused and keep paying attention to detail, working to get better and not be satisfied with what they have accomplished.

Keene’s are a coaching family. I am a former scholarship division one athlete and division one head golf coach. My husband is a former division three athlete and current high school coach. Our two boys, well they are honestly a blog of their own. In the summer they live on the golf course and in the winter they are gym rats; what can I say? Our passion runs deep for family, values and leading people.

Today while on a gum search, and a search for inspiration, I dug into my husband’s coaching bag. He’s superstitious. Always gum at tip off. I found an old email I sent him folded up. The paper was wrinkled. The corners were torn. Not to mention the once white paper was dingy. The email was dated February 19, 2011. The significance of the date was the sectional title game. In other words, we were David and the opponent was Goliath. This short note has multiple meanings. I was touched he had kept it. I was moved he has read it more times than one by the dirty prints left behind. I believe this letter showcases our commitment to being our best, not only as individuals, but as a team; Team Keene.


Coach Keene,

When tonight’s game starts--give it your best. The opportunities are there to be anything you want it to be. But wanting to be something isn’t enough; dreaming about it isn’t enough; thinking about it isn’t enough. You have to study for it, work for it, fight for it with all your might and all your heart and all your soul, because nobody is going to hand it to you.

Success does not come to you---you go to it. I am proud of your swagger, I am impressed with your leadership, I am intimidated in your will to win, and I am overcome by your love of the game. Passion makes every detail important. Tonight, take some time to enjoy the “small details” of everything you, as a coach, have overcome this year. Not to mention the success you have molded. It took years to get to this point. Now take it in, and evaluate where your heart tells you to go next on your journey…

Your biggest fan,

Mrs. Coach Keene


Hummmm, evaluate where your heart tell you to go next on your journey. My heart tells me to lead. My heart pushes people to be their best. My heart tells you the truth, even when it’s not the popular answer. My heart is inspired by others goals being met. My heart gets a rush from the journey to the sale. My heart cares about family. My heart is a coach, cheering from behind the bench. Behind the bench was where I was made to be. Does your team roster need a heart like mine?

Our Boys LOVE Kip Jones! Justice was throwing a fit and Cam says, "Hey--Kippy--Stop being a baby or I wont interview you after dinner!" It worked--Can you tell Cam has a mean streak by this face?

Just Your Average Sunday---Justice and Cameron are listening to a Locker Room Speech---See Next Picture

Justice and Cam listening to their "pre-game" locker room speech in Justice's room! They Told Me They Are Sitting In The Back Row Because The Coach Spits When Hes Mad...

Five Sleeps Away From Six Good Books, An Umbrella Drink and Sunshine!

I LOVE this Shirt---BE AWESOME TODAY!! Great Reminder To Start The Week!

Mini Norman Dale

It should be no surprise our family loves the movie Hoosiers. Every year as the weather starts to turn cool, TNT has a Hoosier's marathons. As if that is not enough, we own the movie. Justice has watched it so many times he is constantly throwing out quotes randomly around the house. He does not fall far from the tree because Coach Keene has the movie memorized. "Don't get caught watching the paint dry Cam." "It okay, it's my assistant coach." "Coach stays, I stay." Seriously, the kid has a comment for most moments.

Justice loves Coach Sears. Coach Sears let Justice be the ball boy the first game of the season IF he produced five 100% on his spelling tests. Justice worked extra hard those weeks. Coach let Justice come into the locker room this past homecoming weekend. Ironically, we were playing IW. Its my understanding that Coach gave the pre-game speech and then asked Justice if he had anything to say. A Keene has rarely ever been at a loss for words so Justice walked to the front of the orange and black players suited up to play with confidence. Justice cleared his throat. "Don't worry about the size of the crowd. Don't worry about the fancy uniforms. It's Homecoming, lets Beat Illini West!" Justice pulled a mini Norman Dale. For those that don't know who Norman Dale is--he's the basketball coach of Hickory. When Hickory was in the locker room before tip off Coach Dale gave this exact speech.

Justice IS Norman Dale in his room. His room is set up just like a locker room. I constantly hear him giving those words of encouragement to his stuffed animals. No doubt in my mind Justice is on track to be a great leader someday. No doubt in my mind Hoosiers is one of the best movies ever made.

Rocky Crazy!

Grandpa Dana's Three Favorite Boys

The Worrying Gene

Eyelash Causalities due to Stress--16
Number of People Who Have Noticed--2
Martha Moments this Week-17
Mary Moments-1

Justice is very aware. And by that word I mean a worrier. When he is outside he is constantly watching Cameron. Often correcting his every move. No matter how many times I tell Justice I'm watching; he still worries. Every night before bed we have to talk about what day it is tomorrow. He remains convinced, often to tears, he will not be able to control the circumstances of what is to come. I often just wish he would relax and play ball.

I know this behavior is crazy. I am the mother and he is seven. Doesn't mother know best? I must confess--He is just like me. I'm so sorry J-Man. Most days I think I can control my circumstances, even if it brings me to absolute tears. I come from a long line of worriers so it must be in his blood.

Speaking of worries--ugh, my beach body, Know anywhere a girl can get Botox, liposuction and a spray tan by Thursday? As I pack a few vacation essentials into my blue rolly bag--my big problem is myself. It amazing what stress will do to a middle aged mothers body. I can just look at something and gain five pounds. I've always struggled with my weight. And when a girl struggles with her body, everything mentally stuffers. I continue to tell myself God has a size six glorified body waiting for me someday in heaven. Unfortunately, this does not always ease my self conscientious mind. I have a great trainer/life coach. I feel like everything, and yes, I mean everything has got in our way of being physically fit in 2013. Thank God she is understanding. I probably would choke me by now. In a fateful kind of way I think we both help each other.

Speaking of fate--Had a lady at work stop in my office Friday. "Hey, thought you were on vacation?" No, next week. She kindly asked where were we going. After I indulged the conversation she left by saying, "hope your plane doesn't crash." Unbelievable. Were some people born in a barn when it comes to polite conversations. I wanted to scream OFF WITH HER HEAD, but I just smiled and said, "if its God's will." Worry number 3567 this week, my plane crashes. Once she planted this terrible seed into my ever so worrying mind I re-analyzed my will and said a prayer.

What does God say about worry? Worrying is the opposite of trusting God. I need to remember to be more like Mary and just sit at the feet of Jesus and pray. Not always an easy task for a controlling and urgent mother. (Philippians 4:6-7 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.)Now to spend my Sunday afternoon packing four people for two different directions---and to not worry.

Relationship Hierarchy

Years Married--10
Children--2
Date Nights this Year--1


Need I really remind myself that Coach is the total package, and not just because he's tall, blonde and handsome. He's one of the most motivational and inspirational people I know, not to mention the funniest. He's confident and often cocky. He loves God, loves our kids and secretly loves our cat Emma. He's passionate about shaping the lives of high school kids and is constantly looking at both sides. He dreams big and works hard every day. He cleans, does laundry and is constantly reminding the kids to respect their mother. And he's got a nice butt. When it comes to husbands I hit the jackpot.

We had a perfect start. Fell pretty quickly and I knew he was the one. Although, I had no idea he was thinking about a proposal the day the bling came. In spite of our perfect story, as every married person knows, reality finds us all. I laugh at the first few years I thought Coach could do no wrong. Ten years later and two kids, I'm not always easy to please. And that is not a criticism of Coach's--he's the same guy I married. It's a criticism of myself and the expectations I place on marriage.

Don't we all want a fairytale ladies? Yea--swept off our feet daily. I want it all--to be loved, protected, adorned. At the very least. And, unfortunately for Coach, ALL, changes daily--sometimes hourly. Are fairy tale ladies as high maintenance as I often am? I have never heard Cinderella complain. Think of all the wicked spells and cleaning she has endured. She did it all in heels and a dress. My feet hurt from a long day in tennis shoes and khakis.

I spend my day surviving the chaos of work, endless lists, juggling kids and coach's schedule, phone calls from my family and friends, social media (should leave that one out) projects and pinterest, cooking, cleaning and working out. Deep breath. As I learn to seek balance I need to spend more quality time with my husband. Normally, once the kids have fought falling asleep, their clothes and backpacks are ready for the next day and shoes are found--I'm exhausted. Relationship don't grow under neglect. Our fast food culture pushes us to get the most done in the shortest amount of time. Yeah, I know, what are you getting at Andrea---just get to the point.

Relationship suffer when God is benched. Thought I better throw in a coaches wife reference! When I make spending time with God a priority, I find I always have time for my husband. I'm selfish less. I loose my temper less. I am less likely to keep a list of wrongs. I am more self controlled and generous. Kinda like that proverbs lady IS somewhere inside of me breaking free. Its amazing when I rearrange the relationship hierarchy--God, Coach, Kids and then the rest of the world--I feel the deepest exhale from within. Moral of the story, set my alarm 30 mins earlier to spend time with God. Make him the starter of my day rather than the afterthought. This can only help in the fourth quarter to have the time out we both need together. Speaking of quality time--only 13 days until our getaway. Praise God for vacation days AND grandparents for that matter. Did I mention the resort is six golden apples adults only!

Hoots--Daycare Kids

Major Issues '13--49
Cursed out this week--4
Punch List--3

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25


2013 has been rough. From floods to fires to court dates to stalkers--its been real bad. As I sit here with a spiked Capri-Sun in my hand, and still somewhat bitter about my Spaghetti-O birthday, I pray for grace. I love this verse above and I pray to be this woman. I need to laugh more. I love that nothing takes her swagger. It takes some Godly strength to push back from the pressure of this world. When I think about all the energy I have exerted on negativity I pray for a change. When some people need a change they go to happy hour or a therapist. And when I need a change, I go to daycare.

When I walk into the blue room with ten little cribs, I reach specifically for my lil Hootie. This is my special name for my nephew Tristan. Zach continues to say, "Really Andrea, are you going to call him that when he's older?" My reply is normally a dirty look. Hoot and I play for awhile. Then we rock with a bottle until he falls asleep. I lay him down in the crib with a delicate kiss. I never can just leave. I find myself being drawn in by some of the babies that are crying. I stop. Shake some toys or move them to a swing. I hate to see them cry. I smile and laugh. They laugh back. I have no idea what their names are or what parents they belong to. I just know I would want someone to love my kid when I was not available.

Driving back to work it hit me. I am exactly where God wants me to be. Forty nine incidents and all. Just like me, Hootie has someone watching over him during the day giving him everything he needs. When I feel alone at the big desk, Christ is moving me to a swing or shaking a toy over me saying, "stop crying, you are valuable." He reminds me that he will never leave me, just like those moms/dads that drop off. He reminds me I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. And Boom---When I remember these promises---that woman of strength and dignity appears! So how in the world did I make it thirty seven years without knowing how selfish I really was? On another note, why did God throw me into the deep end of the corporate pool when I only know how to doggie paddle?

Well, in spite of my selfishness God sees the person I will become. God sees the person I am becoming. And that my readers--is true grace. Not the forty nine incidents just this year--he sees how that crisis is shaping me into the woman with strength and dignity. Wow--Stick a fork in it, done. Boom. Proverbs woman or bust.

2013 has been rough.

All Aboard!

How do you get high performance results from your team? Love the passengers riding the bus. I mean REALLY love them. Jon Gordon has developed five ways to love your people.

1-Make time for them. How many of us have had a boss that has never asked about your family? Hands in the air. When you show true invested interest in your staff the support-o-meter goes up. When employees feel valued they connect. Turn over goes down and job satisfaction goes to the sky.

2-Listen to them. Time is sometimes an enemy to the leader. Often the squeaky wheel gets the oil, right? I read once a leader should be teaching, coaching and training 50% of their time. This means listening to your people. Some of the best advice and ideas for me have came from the people who work day in and day out in the department. Take the time. Open your door and listen.

3-Recognize them. I don’t mean trophies or an award banquet, sometimes “thank you” speaks volumes. As a leader I do my best to point out over the top behavior. I write hand written notes. I bring in chair massages and in a few weeks we are going tailgating at WIU. Public praise is remarkable. Feed the positive passenger and they will want to do more things right.

4-Serve Them. Believe me, I’m on call 24/7 and I feel like a servant. The first way I serve my passengers is consistency. Your passengers need, and want for that matter, to know what is expected. Second, I’m not afraid to get dirty. Serving your people understands their role. Often that means cleaning a bathroom, dealing with an angry person, or making rounds in their shoes. Don’t concentrate on the past, focus your energy on the positive change when you serve.

5-Bring out the best in them. The best way a leader can bring out the best is by helping their passenger discovery their strengths. Creating a system to help them shine can not only improve their performance, but the entire team’s performance. Nothing makes me prouder than when an employee gets promoted or moves on to chase their full potential. When a C.N.A. leaves us upon graduation from nursing school or a manager leaves for a new marketing position. Smiles all around. Bringing out the best in your people, can also bring out the best in the driver.

These five ideas of loving your passengers can be applied to work and home. Personally, I am committed to finding a balance. These 70 hour work weeks are for the birds. Coach and I are taking a much needed getaway in a few weeks. Rest and reading bring out the best in both of us. We do recognize good grades, good decisions, and good behavior at home. My favorite time to really listen to my kids is at night. Coach and I both read to our kids, every night. We rotate each evening to get some quality time with one kid. Cameron loves to share the Pledge of Allegiance after our prayer. He is so proud of his new learned patriotism. He also tells me stories about the class pet Lucy. Cameron thinks Lucy reads books and fly’s around the room at night. Cameron loves school. This makes my heart happy. Serving Justice is easy, give him a ball and a scorebook the kid is set. His stories are now becoming more mature. He tells me at night what he wants to wear the next day. He gives me lists for the store like smelly boy soap and deodorant…and maybe some of those Clearasil wipes for my face. He’s so funny. As parents we are trying to bring the best out in our kids, I actually think they bring out the best in us.

Clean Houses Are Over-Rated

Major Incidents in 2013: 49

Days Until I Start Vacation: 15

People who I WISH would pay me a compliment: 7

Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”


I get Martha. Good Grief--I AM Martha. She worked hard and stayed busy. She was a planner, and she was stressed. There were so many things on her to do list that she was not able to spend time with Jesus. It's easy to judge Martha, but I can imagine her motives would have been similar to mine if Jesus and his crew was coming to my house. To be the best homemaker in town. To impress. I bet she even lost sleep planning the meal and how everything she wanted to be perfect.

Mary, on the flip side was a cool cat. That state of mind is almost foreign to me--seriously I'm controlling and urgent 15 hours out of the day. She was not concerned with her reputation. Mary just sat and listened to Jesus, and hers was the choice Jesus preferred. I have to wonder what Mary got to hear while Martha was in the kitchen. For that matter, I have to wonder about all the things I miss when I am consumed with my lists. Gotta think--Jesus is not a fan of when I am trying to impress people. Wonder what my days would be like if I were more like Mary?

Ironically--Jesus does not say all exhausted coaches wives that run healthcare business's with two wild children should caffeinate to accomplish more. Rather He invites us to come to Him--and when we do--HE provides us with rest. We can decide to rest, but real soul rest is at the feet of Jesus. When we truly lay down our agenda and focus on his agenda everything changes. He accepts me---messy house and all. As for my family, not so sure.

Coach and I could both take a lesson from Mary. As we were sitting on the couch last night cuddling my new sweet nephew I asked him, "Do you remember doing this when I kids were little?" We both shook our heads no. I felt convicted. I am trying so hard to get though everyday, I forget to enjoy everyday. The boys will grow up and the only thing I will have is a clean house. Now, to figure out how to be more like Mary...

One Word

Come aboard our energy bus! I have challenged my management team to pick one word that personifies what leadership characteristics they want to portray in the next six month. In order to fill our bus with positive passengers (staff) we need to choose a destination.

Communication, Service, Compassion, Stability, Love and Satisfaction will be the fuel words keeping our energy bus on the road. We put these words on our printed out bus and made a commitment to start today. Beep, Beep! Have I mentioned how awesome my team is? Amazing how quickly they buy into a new concept--its refreshing. Can’t wait to share our first stop on the road...

This conversation sparked such a great discussion; I decided to take it to the Keene dinner table. I asked my boys, including the big boy, a simple question. We are a team. Each person around the table has a job, right? Big smiles from the peanut gallery. Justice yells, “Moms in charge!” Listen Justice, as I held back my grin. Can you boys think of a word to make our team better? Cameron said, “Play!” Good word Cam. If we don’t have some fun, what’s the point! Justice said, “Positive.” Another good idea. Life is hard. We have to find the silver lining sometimes. Coach said, “Time Management.” Agreed. Our lives are a scheduling nightmare. And my word was Support. Tonight, I am bringing home a picture of our family that we can all write our words on for accountability. I am a big believer that if you don’t see it, you won’t achieve it. Each night when we go around the table to share our day, we will incorporate our Team Keene words into the conversation. No matter how old you are or how many people you lead it’s important to have a focus. My goal is to focus more on the positive energy and teach my kids how to handle adversity. One word is a start.

Happy 4th Birthday Cameron Meyer!

Hard to believe that Cameron is now older than Justice was when he was born. Oh, how time flies and oh, how much our lives have changed since I last logged into this blog. It's been so long since I have dialed into the home huddle, I had to receive a code to my phone to crack the security. Geezer. I have truly missed the weekly therapy of writing about our family. I stopped for a few personal reasons. This is my disclosure to all parties reading my words------This blog is dedicated to my kids. I write for them and only them. When small minded people choose to make fun of your life over social media its called bullying. I write for the love of my kids and for Coach. I write about the passion we have for leading people. It's a 24/7 job, and we love it even though it sucks the life out of us sometimes. Our professions have taught us--and our kids for that matter--lessons that most never get exposed to. It has shaped us into transparent, hard working, God and family centered people. I am the voice for people who are in the spotlight. Not like Brad Pitt or other famous stars, but people who believe in change. People who believe in pushing limits and stepping out of your comfort zone. Not just people who live to clock out. I would not change a thing or a blog I have posted for that matter over that last four years. When mediocrity is jealous they go directly to posting "throw up" on facebook. When professionals are hurt they say nothing. And THAT my friends speaks more than social media ever could. I've been hurt for awhile now. It's time to heal that pain with words of encouragement. I have decided to reinvent my home huddle as we quickly approach season 11. Stay tuned. I look forward to the next part of my blog journey with you or without you...

Sam, our elf on the shelf, arrived last night. He returned with a new play called "the North Pole". Justice and Cameron were excited when they woke up. As the day progressed they cared less and less about Sam and more and more about beating each other up. Naughty List--Day One.

First Game Day Flowers of Season Ten

Justice Pretending To Be The Announcer, The Kid Has A Future In The Media...Watch out Chris Duerr...

Have TWO Stat Lovers Now...

Two Best Looking Fans At The Game!

Two Bomber Pilots Hocked Up On Sugar...

Speech, Speech

So here I am a few weeks late posting again. Darn this overscheduled life. Ah, where do I begin? After ten years of leadership, a few hundred speaking engagements later, Coach FINALLY decided to let me take a stab at speaking to his team. Before we left Justice said, “mom, I have a few words to say too.” For those of you who have not been following us long, Justice always has a few words. He told me what he wanted to say and I approved. Fast forward to the pregame meal; Coach introduced me. I gave Justice the floor first. I did tell them it was uncensored just in case he veered away from his original topic. He walked to the front of the room and put his sweaty little hands together. Shhhh, it was quiet. In the most serious voice he began, “Ladies, THIS is the not the trophy we are worried about. We only care about Redbird Arena and the STATE trophy.” The magnitude of his intensity made me tear up. He cares so deeply about the game. His passion was unleashed and the girls all cheered. It was a proud moment. Yeah—then I spoke, but Justice stole the show. I have to think we are teaching life lessons to our boys and raising the next leaders for our future. One of my rules is to eat dinner as a family every night. Even when basketball season is here, I and the boys continue this ritual. We have a sharing time while we eat. We each share something positive about our day. Cameron always goes first. He likes to share what he had for lunch or what he played with and then he says, “I spy, with my eye.” Then Justice screams, “That’s not the deal. We are not spying, we are sharing!” So then its Justice’s turn. “We had a sub today in art.” I asked, “Was she nice?” He gives me this googly eyed look and says, “Mom, she was old. I walked up to the desk and asked her if she wanted to live at Grand Prairie. She said no. She had a house. So I sat back down.” I might just have to hire Justice for the new addition. Cameron and I spent the entire day today decorating for Chrismas and cooking. We had a great time, just the two of us. Cameron is so much more relaxed than Justice. Cameron is detailed. He finishes everything he starts and has a happy little attitude. I love cheering on the Bombers, but I sure enjoyed spending the day with Cam....

Here We Go Bombers--Here We Go!

Just a quiet Friday night in Keeneville. Yep, doing what most families do in their quiet time; pick out starting lineup songs for Monday night’s home opener. Hard decisions. The last two weeks have been a little hectic around Adams Street. Coach had two a day practices; gotta get those ladies into defensive shape. Keeping Mrs. Coach Keene in defense shape is tackling my career and my two little men in uniform. Raising Justice and Cameron is like two-a-days, twenty four hours a day. Between spelling words and SpongeBob it’s enough to make any sane mother cry for a few quiet minutes of alone time. Speaking of alone time, I grant myself a short vacation every weekend to the grocery store. Glamorous, I know. I was in Wal-mart, checking out the toy aisle--on my way to the light bulbs--and found myself in a very interesting conversation. Well I should clarify—eavesdropping on a conversation. I heard the clerk say to this gentleman, “This is a great hoop and you want two?” Immediately my ears perked up. Hey, hey, somebody is getting a full court for Christmas. Awesome! As the conversation continues, I am now looking at bikes, and still listening. “How many feet is a basketball court?” The clerk says, “Honestly, no clue.” So me--being the quiet coaches wife I am nonchalantly wheeled my grocery packed cart by and said, “84 Feet, coach’s wife.” I wish I could have had a camera. These two men looked at me like I was an extraterrestrial. I wanted to pull a Justice Keene and yell “Boo-Ya” as I strolled by, but I kept my beam under control. My second encounter this week showing off my “10 years as a coach’s wife resume” was explaining to an 84 year old man what Grinnell style offense meant. People--I truly think I am ready for my own talk show. Anyhoo, have I mentioned how excited we are to be orange and black? Coach and I have a super awesome surprise for the players next week. We had some amazing signs made to decorate the locker room. (Pictures to follow) It’s going to rock our Washington Street Hanger. Not to mention the entire theme of havoc Coach has created around the Bomber name. From Wingman awards to the Red Bird Arena poster being made. Changing culture is hard work. I like to think of myself as a “change agent.” Not only do I get to lead my way of life at work, but I get to come home and consult Coach on the culture he is establishing for girls basketball. You couldn’t find a more passionate consultant about the cause and my price is just right! Well, this Monday night will be the first time in ten years I have not sat behind the bench. Our gym is set up with bleachers on one side and the players in chairs on the other. I guess if my biggest dilemma going into game one is where me and the kids will sit, I think we are going to be just fine! Go Bombers---See you at the game!

Inside Out

Begin with the end in mind. Or at least that is what Stephen Covey preaches. Tonight I am reflecting about me. Yes, just me. No Coach. No kids. I am only two short weeks away from my one year anniversary. One year you ask? One year ago November 1st I told myself I needed a change. A healthy change. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth and started working with a trainer. (the poor lady, had no idea what a head case I would be) This road has been full of flat tires, detours, crashes, and more bumps in the road than this girl could have imagined. Although the road has been filled with problems, somewhere along each stop of the journey I started to heal. The first six months I trained for a 5K that I ran with my sister. Ashley got this crazy idea. We would honor my Grandma, who passed away from ALS, by running a race in her honor. Over 6,000 runners suited up for this U of I event. I vividly remember a cold night in December running all of 30 seconds in my most honest voice asking, "How will I ever do this?" Well, six months later I did. Ashley and I wore a special broach on our shirt from my Grandma's jewelry box. I recited in my head the entire 3.2 miles, don’t forget the .2, I can do all things through Christ that strengths me. I know she was with us as we crossed the finish line. I pointed at that moment to heaven when we crossed together hand in hand. What an awesome feeling. After the race, phase two was put into action. At this point the trainer became a life coach. (I told you she didnt know what she signed up for) March till June was pretty rough in Keeneville. I needed that lady to beat the sweat out of me a couple nights a week because I was so close to a breakdown. The workout helped me keep my sanity, not to mention kick my butt. During the summer I spoke at Navy Pier at a conference on leadership. I had the opportunity to fly to Dallas and develop myself deeper. It was still me, but the outside was starting to change. On the brink of 12 months I have now ran a 5K, lost 13 3/4 inches, lost 4 sizes, has lowered my resting heart rate by more than 20 beats, and have changed the way I look at food forever. The day in 2011 I gave myself permission to leave my kids a few hours a week to work on myself was a gift. We as mother put ourselves last. Anyone can do this if Andrea Keene is succeeding. You must be willing to take out your personal map and set up the journey. Yes, begin with the end in mind. I remember saying I want my outside to match my inside. That is my end in mind. Just like as a college golfer I could visually see my ball landing on the green, I can see myself another year from now. I still have a very long way to go, very long. I need to remind myself how very far I have come. I love leading people. I cant wait to stand on a big stage someday and convey that passion I have inside of me. The best part, my outside will then match my inside. Begin with the end in mind. How do you see your end and what are you doing to get there?

Third Day Is The Charm...

Well, day three he made it! Better yet, I made it too. He was alittle weak, but he made it. I am so proud of him. Even though he is three and we still let him use a pappy. He is a school boy. A BIG school boy now. Before we left the house today I drew a heart on his hand. He drew one on mine. I told him everytime he got sad to look at his heart and remember school would be over soon and Grams would pick him up. He laughed. He thought it was funny I let him draw on me. Whatever it takes...Anyhoo. I am sure next week will be another adventure. (pre-k only 3 days a week) I am just proud we made it to friday. BIG exhale.....

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Oh Cam...

I just don’t get it. Justice was the exact same way. First day of school, great. Second day of school, not so much. Ugh. I just feel sick after Cameron’s episode today. He was strong until I said good-bye. This kid latched on to my shirt and screamed for a good 30 mins. Yeppers, I was in the full on ugly cry. On a side bar I have now cried in front of both my kids’ teachers. Oh Joy. I could hear his ear-piercing scream as I left the school with a wad of toilet paper in my hand. What a great feeling. Sarcasm, anyone? I had a mega meltdown on my way to work. And at work. And in my office. And in the bathroom. Nothing like feeling like you were busted in the heart. I second guess myself constantly in motherhood. I don’t know if it’s guilty working mother syndrome. Or many other un-blog appropriate thoughts. I appreciate the random mother who said, “You are a good mom, hang in there” with a hug as I walked out of school. I AM a good mom. I don’t care if no one ever tells me. I am telling myself! Take that. I will be my own positive voice. I am doing my best. Sure I screw up, but I am doing my best. I guess I will try this again tomorrow. I hope it gets better or I am going to need more mascara sooner than later. Justice cried for 8 weeks, oh Lord, give me strength.

Cameron Takes Pre-K

Today was Cameron's first day of pre-school. He was so brave. Walked right into the class like he owned it. No tears when I said good-bye. I loved it! I am still keeping make-up stashes in my car with Justice, but not little brother. He kept saying this morning, "hurry up, hurry up. Did I do my homework?" It was hilarious. He was being silly all the way to the front door. He even posed before we walked out for a few pictures. Very proud of my little man today. Big day in motherhood. Two backpacks to set out at night now. Two sets of clothes and shoes for the morning. Time is going fast. Too fast. Almost scary.