Size Does Matter

Size does matter, especially when you are choosing your ruck. What’s a ruck? Its military terms for the size and weight of your backpack when on a journey from point A to point B. When you’re new to an expedition often you pick the largest backpack, so you can fit the most items needed for comfort inside. As a rookie you learn very quickly you’ve packed to many objects for success. The backpack weighs you down mentally, physically and emotionally. Often never making it to the final destination. We don’t always need those comfort items. Learning to rely on what you have is the key. Maturity realizes that size does matter; and I’m not talking about a paycheck.

Speaking of ruck size, how about debt. That’s a backpack that can weigh you down deep don’t ya think. I share this with you because of the power God has in your ruck, not to brag. I share this because God has a plan, not Andrea having an agenda. I share our story because we are just average people having average people problems. In the last 17 months our family has went through a broken furnace, a broken water heater, a car repair and new tires, daycare expenses, a job loss and unemployment, taking a pay cut and many other struggles. There were nights I couldn’t sleep trying to control where our bills were coming from and what was leaving our account. Continually giving our uncertainties to God, and distinguishing when he was showing us favor, God allowed Coach and I to pay debt. Exactly $71,573 in debt in 17 months; and still plan a tropical vacation for 4--paid for this July. And just to put the icing on the cake, a small nest egg in the bank to build with. I can’t say we are debt free because our student loans and house will haunt us for quite a while—but gooooooo God! Way to lighten our ruck by showing us provision through all this tribulation. You are miraculous! I’m sure Satan is reading this saying, “I’ll show you.” I know whatever comes our way he will provide.

When God says it’s time for your ruck size to change, it happens. Not always in the way we plan, but it happens. This picture represents the past ruck in my trunk? (I could write for Dr. Seuss) Books on leadership, multiple framed awards, there’s my Vitamin D lamp and my coffee maker, and many other weights bogging down my backpack of life. Looking back, a little more mature, I realize that ruck was mentally, physically and emotionally strenuous. God knew. That ruck stole my passion, my time and my family. God moved me. Downsizing to a full-scale backpack, rather than a Big Mac Daddy bag, my field of view is more limited—yet I see so much more. My paycheck is less, but I have so much more. My passion is back, and I am leading more. Size does matter.

Today I sit on my porch, phone in the house, relaxing. I’m thinking about my ruck size with two kids and a coach in the Dominican Republic. Can we make it in two suitcases? By golly, yes, because size does matter and this vacation is about more fun and less ruck. This time away represents not just astounding tans but a new and improved ruck size in our life. I am letting the old ruck go. Unfortunately, there were people I love in that long-standing backpack. People I will always love. Rucks and bravery go hand in hand. We often have to make bold corrections in order to completely embrace the new journey. Sometimes those corrections involve mourning and tears. As we learn to walk with our new map we find our harmonious gate, movement how God intended us to be. Even though we have marks on our back from the weight of old ruck, and wounds that will probably never fully heal, the new lighter more instrumental ruck was well worth the wait. Oh yeah, and a promotion is right around the corner. Another reward from God and his favor. Size does matter. How big is your faith? Mine is God-sized...

Quiet Whispers

I hate it. Sometimes it sneaks up on you out of nowhere. Sometimes it’s a song. Sometimes it’s a text. Sometimes it’s a commercial. Oh yeah, and its graduation time; that does it to me too. And sometimes your mind just goes there.... What do I hate? Tears.

Today, as I was driving in my car I heard a song that reminded me of my last five years. First, I started to sing with a smile. Next, quiet. Then I felt the anger inside my belly. And now my lip began to quiver. Dang it. I hate to cry. I feel like it shows I’m weak. But in actuality it’s a symbol of how much I care. We are still only 90 days out, and I still care. And---it sucks.

On a sunnier side, I do love my new job. I asked my mentor about six months ago, “How will I know when I have found my place?” His answer was simple. “Andrea. You will know. Your heart will whisper it to you.” Did you hear anything about tears in that phrase? Uh, no!?! Six week into this new role I drove home from work and BOOM---it hit me. I got all choked up at the stop light right in front of Dairy Queen. And--—they can see you in your car from the line. Where are my Hollywood sunglasses when I need them? Oh, that’s right. Justice sat on them. I had a moment, waiting on the light to turn green, and he was right! My heart told me things I’ve needed to hear for two years. The second thing it whispered was—you need a Blizzard—but I kept going. Phew…

I dusted off my clubs on a MONDAY to play in a golf outing. Holy smokes. One, I’m golfing. Two, it’s a workday. With the way I played I should have bought a lotto ticket. Pretty sure the Golden Eagles would have been proud. Felt like wearing my Letterman jacket to the after party dinner, buuuutttt I would have been a tad bit over dressed. Ha. Just kidding. That was my cocky husband talking. I was honestly super proud to not have embarrassed myself. I enjoyed the entire afternoon golfing with my favorite partner, my dad. Yep—that chokes me up right there. Some of my best memories in life are with my dad on the golf course. Yet another place, my heart whispers, is the right place to be… Justice met me in the garage when I got home. “Where’s your trophy?” Justice, I told you it was for fun. “Mom, I expected more, maybe next time. Now come upstairs and tell me where you lost shots.” Yep, that’s a coach’s kid for ya. Always wanting to get better and, of course, WIN!

Lastly, Justice had me mail a letter this week to Rory Mcilroy. One of the best golfers on tour right now. Seems like a great role model too. I took a peak at the letter before I licked the envelop. Because that’s what moms do, right. Justice says, “Dear Rory, I know you can win the Masters. I believe in you. Keep your head up. I am your biggest fan. Don’t let a bad round stop you from winning the next. Will you write me back? P.S. You better watch out, I’m practicing every day to beat you! Your friend, Justice” Talk about getting a life lesson from a nine year old. And again, in the quiet of my red Camry on Pearl Street while placing the stamp on the white envelop, I sobbed. I heard my heart whispering again. I must be doing something right….

Tristy---Does this kid look mean or what?

My Sweet Lil Blakley Jean--Wuv This Snuggle!

The Brave Ones

Coach and I are like kids at Christmas tonight. No, tomorrow is not a tropical vacation awaiting our arrival or a chance to win millions of dollars. Friday is LEADERCAST DAY! For those of you who don’t know what that is, let me explain…

Tomorrow a live web cast is broadcast

to 800 locations of a prominent leadership conference hosted in Atlanta. The Macomb location is hosted at The Crossing. The speaker line up is always amazing. I have went the last three years. I have laughed. I have cried. I have been moved beyond words and reflected deep within my aspiration. Every year I walk away saying that was exactly what I needed to fill my soul. This year I talked my soulmate into taking a personal day to fill his cup too. Let me just say, that cup will be a big gulp my friends. My pen is ready. My learning hat is on. I am ready to experience another astonishing line up of speakers. On a side bar, I have talked 5 other people into joining my posse for the cause; being a deepened leader. One of my favorite sayings is, “you don’t have to be THE leader, to be a leader.” You might have taken the leader out of my last job, but the leader is blazing on fire with passion today. I thank them for that fuel ignited to my inner groundbreaker. Your loss is my gain.

Speaking of gain, when I accepted my new position I was somewhat hesitant because I was an office of one. No one to lead. God has me scratching my head. Six weeks into my role I am leading more people than I have ever imagined and have had the opportunity to sit with folks I never dreamed of. Again, proving my point of you don’t have to be THE leader to be a leader.

The topic at Leadercast tomorrow is “The Brave Ones.” I’ll second that motion of being a leader requires bravery. How about David. Do you think it required some inside courageousness to stand before Goliath the Giant? Now Moses leading the people standing before the Red Sea. Yep, again fearlessness. What about Daniel spending the night in the Lion’s Den? I have to say that would require some real valiant. Do you think God equips his children, during times of need, to be brave? I’ve thought about this question often; especially lately. The world wants us to lean on material things to feel brave. Maybe that’s a big $60,000 SUV to hide behind the steering wheel of life or a black power suit faking the hand shake of business. God arms his people with the gift of bravery though prayer. When we acknowledge our fear of the situation to him, he honors us by offering a peace. Now I didn't say whine, I said acknowledge we are powerless without his harmony.

Peace like a river. I’ve got peace like a river… Did you sing that in Sunday School? Think about that. A large fluid body of water flowing into a deeper channel. We have peace like a river and he is our waterway. Feeding into him flows all our terrifying moments right down the current. Next time you feel the need for bravery, grab your life jacket and just float down the river of peace. They don’t call it a lazy river for nothing. I want to float down mine with a Cherry Coke...

Stirring The Paint

“Let’s go Cam!” As we headed out the door to run a few errands I noticed Cameron had paint all over the sleeve of his jacket. Immediately that voice of my mother blasted into my head, “You can’t leave the house looking like that!” I nudged Cameron back into the house to change his jacket. He was clearly annoyed. “No one cares mom!”

The response in my head was very culture driven. We wouldn’t want anyone to think you might not be perfect, right? Ugh, ridiculous. I put way too much pressure on myself to look like I’ve got it all under control. I refuse to fake it anymore. Let this be my public service announcement—I, Andrea, am honestly a mess. I am self-conscious. I worry my messy house is a reflection of me. I am not patient, ever, which makes me question my role as mother. I dislike the indecisive. I eat when no one is looking. I love to be alone. I over think everything; which brings me back to paint on Cameron’s sleeve..….

Society has driven us to second guess ourselves which in turns creates a gigantic catastrophe. We want our Facebook’s to look like the Cleavers but in reality it’s mega dysfunctional. The neighbor’s lawn looks like Better Homes and Gardens but inside the house is World War III. Lastly those big family gatherings, yep, behind the fake smiles people are hurt, tangled and holding a grudge. I could go on forever. Sound familiar?


What’s the silver lining? We don’t serve society. If you serve society you will never be satisfied. You will never find your joy. God wants all of us. Even the ugliest part with the paint on our jacket. On a side bar, I’ve got some really foul things on my heart that make paint look like child’s play. I can say this because we are in a safe place. God sees the blemishes from heaven; yet still wants to give us unconditional love and forgiveness. Look at Eve. Eve made the mother of all mistakes. She transformed everything with that bite of the apple. (Yes ladies, we have Eve to thank for the lovely agonizing experience of childbirth, even in 2015) Did God forsake Eve? Did God walk away and talk to Adams about what a colossal mistake she made and who does she think she is? No, he actually blessed her as the story reads. Blessed her, the mother of all blemishes and all.

With the pressure of today’s world it’s not easy to heave away the counterfeit reality show lifestyle and trade it for God’s example of all-inclusive forgiveness. When we give our heart to God he doesn’t care if your kid is a screw up, you have $10 in your bank account or you’re a little over weight. He paid for all of you, paint on your sleeve too. The hard part, we as humans adopting the same love and care to others. We judge. We gossip. We talk about so and so who just walked in with THAT outfit on. Next time your mind pushes that inner diva to be perfect, fight it. It can be liberating to just be yourself. You could unshackle someone else by taking off the mask of perfectionism and just be who God made you. No more secrets. No more talking in riddles about your difficulties. Discontinue the reality show and start talking to people about your true reality. Transparency builds relationships. Imitation keeps you from a true blessing from God. I write this blog to be translucent. To be vulnerable to the world. To encourage you to undress the inner princess and wear a crown of authenticity. If you justly offer your story as sacrifice there just might be a real crown waiting for you in heaven.

Finding My Joy; Trust Requires Unanswered Questions

FEBRUARY 17, 2015

Boy, God must think I am one strong gal after the last few weeks. There something about standing up for your beliefs, and paying the consequences, that truly make you lean on the Lord. I have been racking my earthly mind for weeks now trying to understand. Boom it hit me, exactly two weeks after the ambush. God is God, and we aren’t supposed to understand. We are supposed to trust him to plan our direction. When we pray a prayer, he already has the date set for the answer. Sometimes it’s speedy, and sometimes its months, but the date is set in stone. He is supernaturally making a path, not for us to understand, but for us to trust. Trust is very difficult for a controlling and urgent kinda gal like yours truly. God says, “Andrea run your race, and continue to follow me. I won’t let you down. Remember Andrea, I—I-- will direct your path, not you.” Having true trust in God requires his followers to have unanswered questions in life. Why, you ask? He wants us to find true joy in him. Not controlling the outcome of situations.

I’ll tell you my testimony in all this turmoil. Twenty-four short hours before my life changed, I cried out in my office. No, like really cried out. Hands in the air. Tears going down my face. “God, I need to find my joy! Help me find my joy. I’m lost.” I spent the next few hours looking through books trying to find a certain passage to help “control” the outcome. Fast forward, 24 hours later, prayer answered. Not really the way I wanted to control that situation, but prayer answered.

Now fourteen days into my search for joy, I’m starting to find it. God is teaching me to thank him for the conditions that are requiring me to slow down. He says, “Andrea, do not spoil these quiet hours with me by waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of my greatest works have been in prison cells. Although you feel cut off from the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful statement in the spiritual realm.” Quiet trust is right. As for my request of joy—I think God has a plan for that too. It’s called a renewed spirit. Time has a way of giving you back what a destructive lifestyle took away. Cheers to finding my joy…



FEBRUARY 19, 2015

Why? My kids ask why all the time. Because I said so. (Insert angry face)

Have you ever thought about how many times you’ve ask God why? Look at Moses and the Israelites. What was supposed to take eleven days of a walk took forty years. Dig into the story, the Israelites complained about everything to God. Food, shelter, water, you name it, they asked why? I have to think just like we as Christians, looking for hope in troubled times, wonder why? As for myself I think I’ve been asking the wrong question. Our God is not the author of confusion, he is the author of peace. When we try to serve God with our mind, we ask questions. When we serve God with our heart, we find incredible peace and hope. Note to self, serve God with my heart, not my mind. Lesson learned.


I was reading a passage last week that truly hit home. I was bringing all my worries over and over to God. Crying out, sometimes in anger and sometimes in despair. I couldn’t sleep. Every second was consumed with worry. Probably asking a lot of why’s. Yea, shocker. I guess I’m human. Perfect example of serving God with our mind, guilty as charged. By changing our approach and thanking him in advance for blessing and showing us favor--is serving God with our heart. Did you hear that—shift your paradigm? Not only do we serve with our heart, but it creates a peace inside. That peace that passes all understanding. Did you hear that, peace! When you are thanking him for that right person put in your path—or thanking him for posting that perfect job right when you needed it---or thanking him for just getting you through the day without more tears, its calming. It’s like speaking motivation right from the lips of angels into our hearts. Do you remember in Genesis when God commanded Abraham to leave? Leave his family. Leave his home and everything he knew. Abraham had no idea what the plan was. Abraham went, and did not worry. Did you hear that? He didn’t ask why, he went without worry.

I am embracing today that my path is spiritually designed. I don’t need to understand the why. I need to stop thinking with my mind and just trust in my heart. I hear that voice in my heart saying, “Andrea, do not be afraid. I have plans for you much bigger than your heart imagined. Now trust me. Rest. You have not truly rested in years. Give me all your pain. Give me all your worries and trust me. Now go to sleep.” Ya know what, I slept last night deeper and more refreshed than I have in months. God’s promises. Stop asking why…Yet another testimony. I am going to take all my turmoil and overcome evil with God. Peace out--literally.



FEBRUARY 21, 2015

Dismissed, two fold. I’ve shared before how God has everything in our life already dated and set. It was only three short years ago, almost to the date--Coach was let go unfairly. Three years later the pain is not as deep, but the scar will always be there. The shoe is now on the other foot, this time it’s a high heel. Let’s just say virtuous beliefs got me in the same place. It’s painful. It’s horrific. It’s like a death. It’s embarrassing because people ponder the why. When Coach went through that time I felt helpless. Not many people can understand truly how it feels to give 100% every day to be wronged by someone’s big ego. Revenge you ask? I already thought about going down that road. Even paid a big time city lawyer to give me some kick butt advice. In the end, I decided I had no energy left and I would let God seek vengeance. Money was not worth what the legal system can do to one’s body. Believe me. I spend over a year and a half in court with a loon. It can suck the life right out of you; head all the way to your baby toe.


Coach is watching me go through every stage of grief, sometimes hourly. No one can understand the tears, the stress, the anger, the hurt and the pain like he can. Somehow I think God made us for each other. He gets me. He just listens and knows nothing he can say will make it feel better. I am so tired of “relax” and “enjoy your time”. Whatever. I come from a long line of unrelaxed people. It’s my chemical makeup.
Right now I’m a prisoner in my own time. I only have two things on my mind during the day, talking to God and getting a spray tan. Both actually are very therapeutic. If I can’t talk to God in Cancun right now, I might as well look like I’m in Cancun. On that note…I’m off to the beach to pray.



FEBRUARY 22, 2015

Thought of the day on rumors. Pick and choose your battles. Travel light. Forgive people. Warriors are champions because they only pick battles worth fighting. The deep meaning of this is like fast food maturity. It’s hard. Suck it up. Go through the drive through, place your order to ignore into the speaker, and grab your bag of no nonsense; drive way. It’s take easy. What you tell yourself becomes you. I am a champion. I only pick battles worth fighting.


FEBRUARY 25, 2015

Not feeling inspired today…



FEBRUARY 26, 2015

Just like Noah spent forty days and forty nights inside the ark, I have spent twenty-three days and nights sitting in my favorite green chair situated in my living room. I have only looked at snow, not rain and floods. Its easy to get sick of the same four walls and the people inside when your emotions are like a hurricane. Poor Noah, can you imagine how dirty and smelly that boat must have been? The most stressful scene in my stent has been Leo, our outside cat, being in heat. Wowzer, that cat gets around. Just think, if I was not sitting in my green chair I might have missed it.

Speaking of might have missed, every day I get to hug, hold, love, feed, snuggle and smile at my little niece. Nothing helps repair a broken heart more than a baby. My morning routine has been very non-Andrea Keene like. I have not laid out the boys clothes the night before. I have not found shoes and stuffed backpacks. I have not packed a lunch the night before. I have not said once, “We gotta hurry up!” I even had a dance party with Cameron after Justice walked out the door. Seriously, that’s like a falling star moment. I don’t do dance parties, especially in the morning but Uptown Funk was on and we just let the music move us. And boy, I must say, my five year old has the dance moves and swagger like his dad. Almost reminded me of The Pace fifteen years ago. Whoa, I’m old. Back to my thoughts. We have ran errands before drop off and strolled in late. No rules. After I kiss Cameron good-bye and bid him a “be a leader” I head to the east side of town. My car knows how to go east, but it turns where it normally goes straight. Snuggles all the way around in Hartman-ville. Tristan is a ball of fire in the morning and Blakely is always ready for a hug. Not a care in the world. Go ahead, take your time is my motto. Again, very un-Keenelike. House messy, who cares?

Time. That’s what I have time. So what have I been doing? Interviews and research. Interviews and research. Oh yeah, I did hit the movies. Talk about having the entire theatre to yourself. Go to a movie at 10:30 on a Tuesday, no one. Candy, popcorn and soda—I call that lunch! No rules, remember? I guess there are unwritten rules when you are in these circumstances. Reaching all stages of grief is one. Sorry Coach Keene, it’s been a roller coaster too. True reflection is two. Like the quiet reflection where you sit in silence, in the green chair, thinking for hours. And three is pick yourself up and realize it’s not how others view you; it’s how you view yourself! Twenty-three days and I’m there. I did nothing wrong. It was just time for a change. I knew that on the inside, but the way it went down was un-humanistic. I always tried to treat people, good or bad, the way I would want to be treated. I gave corrective action with a life lesson and a termination with an inspirational speech to move on and do better in life. In the words of Taylor Swift, “it’s gonna be forever, or go down in flames.” Attention shoppers, aisle four, we need an extinguisher! Day twenty-four, I’m heading to the grocery store.


MARCH 2, 2015

Don’t consider your circumstances, consider your God. I am still waiting, and not super patiently on the Lord. I have almost read the entire Bible in the last 30 days. I was actually impressed how fascinating it was. I don’t mean that in a sacrilegious way. It went by really fast. Well, when you can’t sleep at 3am and there is ice on your dish what else ya gonna do? Read. I enjoyed the stories and some of the scripture really made sense to me in applying to my circumstances. Hummm, don’t consider your circumstances, consider your God. Makes total sense to me…


MARCH 4, 2015

I was looking through Cameron’s journal he draws in everyday at school. The whole way to school, almost daily, he is worrying about what he’s going to draw. I mean face frown and genuinely upset about what he will draw. I always tell him, “you will know exactly what to draw when its time! Trust yourself Cam!” Anyhoo, I was looking through his February journal. There’s Justice and him exchanging valentines. There’s daddy smiling. A few ninja turtles. The cats outside make the journal playing in the snow. And then theirs mom…..I am paying the water bill. I think it’s fair to say I am the “voice of reality” parent in our house. Note to self; got to work on being more fun. Think I’ll google that. Fun’s been lost for a very long time.



MARCH 5, 2015

I’m fighting back. Not literally, emotionally. Wake up and go get it! The noon phone calls from Coach have slowly faded and my smile is beginning to return. One month, two days. On a side bar, I call the noon check-in my “suicide watch” call. Coach WAS the one who found me laying on my driveway, face down crying out. When coaches leave positions you have a press conference. When business people leave positions, people just wonder. I, Andrea, blog.

Psalm 23 is my favorite. It has special meaning to me for many reasons. I’ll share one. When Justice was much younger, we read a children’s version of Bible stories at night. This one was Justice’s favorite. He used to say, “Mommy, read me the Justice version.” He was too little to comprehend what exactly the Lord was telling us in Psalm 23, so I made him a three year old version. It goes something like this…

The Lord is my helper and he gives Justice everything he needs.
He gives him a soft bed at night so he can rest with the angels.
He leads Justice to good places and refreshes his soul.
He helps Justice through the day, and when he is scared, never worry Justice!
I am right there beside you; holding my hand.
Justice—put your arms around me and feel my love.
Surely my goodness and love will be with Justice all your days.
And someday, Justice, you will live in heaven forever.
Amen!

Last night before we turned out the light Justice says, “Mom, do me the Justice version of that one prayer.” It’s been awhile, I was impressed he remembered. So I did, and Cameron says, “Now—do me!” Sometimes we forget to personalize God’s promises. When we personalize a promise, straight from God, it’s like a hand written letter just for us. My advice, personalize it. Everyone likes to get mail, especially from heaven.



MARCH 16, 2015

All my life I have thought of bible characters as super heroes. Special people that God gave this magical life. These people knew which path to choose and where to cast their net. In my reading today, I think of Moses. God asked Moses to do a lot of things based on faith not sight. Moses led his people from Pharaoh. Moses was a man, just like you and me. Can you imagine the heartache when he finally brought this people to the Red Sea? So close to freedom. Moses knew Pharaoh’s army was close behind. I can just see Moses sitting on a rock looking at the water wondering, “God, why have you brought me this far to a lifeless end. We will surely be killed.”

Sitting in my green chair I can empathize with Moses. “Now what God? I’ve followed your hand and here I sit. Overwhelmed with confusion.” Wonder how long it took God to part that sea? A few hours? An overnight stay on the beach with 400,000 people waiting for direction? Minutes must have felt like hours and hours felt like days. When we try to control the outcome, we sit at a road block. When we turn the road block over to the creator; mountains move and waters part.

Moses did not know the plan, he just followed. He was faithful till then end. Moses was just like you and me. A mortal. A worrier. A leader. My Red Sea parted today. No longer do I sit on the rock trying to control my outcome. He has chosen my outcome. I trust, just as the last of Moses people crossed the sea, the waters swallowed up the evil. Of course, we will always have evil in our world; I plan to overcome evil with my God. A God that chooses ordinary leaders, like Moses, and puts them in extraordinary circumstances to lead. My heart is full. My testimony is great. Encourage others is the only answer. Cheers to new beginnings; My joy has returned. My smile is glowing. I will never be the same, in Jesus name.

Heart Centered Leaders...

You Might be a Heart-Centered Leader if...

You tell the truth.
You trust your associates to do the right thing.
You are able to relinquish control.
You know your impact and are mindful of how your words and actions may be interpreted in formal and informal ways.
You aim to serve the people that you are leading, not the other way around.
You are open-minded and do not judge or assume, but come to understand a situation or behavior.
You take care of your "whole-self"--physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
You have the willingness to look in the mirror and come to terms with your own character flaws.
You are committed to personal and professional growth.
You strive to mentor others and surround yourself with people that have skills, talents and styles different from your own.
You are empathetic and strive to maintain the self-esteem of others.
You have an "open-door" policy.
You believe that, given the right support, people rise to the occasion on their own and actually feel good about being held accountable.
You develop strategies that involve, promote, call upon, and inspire associates to participate fully.
You have compassion for yourself and others.
You replace blame with responsibility.
You believe that people have positive intentions, even if associates' behavior appears to illustrate the opposite.
You are committed to making a difference not only in your own life, but in the lives of your associates and society as a whole.
You listen before speaking.
You create an environment where feedback is expected and appreciated.
You are not afraid to admit your mistakes.

Special Day

After the early game last Saturday Justice went to Quincy with grandpa before the evening game started. I think it was a golf shop run, but shhhh don't tell! Ha. After the game Cameron looks at me with his sad eyes and says, "I want a special day!" That was AKA for---I just want some time with mom and dad all alone. How can you ever say no to his big sparkly brown eyes? We had a great afternoon. Ice Cream and he wanted to put up the Christmas tree. Cheers Cameron to your "special day"....

Justice getting warmed up before the game with his buddy Kip Jones!

Mexican Night in Keeneville inspired us to wear our special attire!

Justice's school project was to create a turkey and write a story. His turkey was a "coaching' turkey and his story was about trying not to get a "T" for Thanksgiving! Coaches Kids...

Powerful Messages

Just like one persons trash is another person’s treasure; one person’s passion might be another’s pain in the ass. The last five weeks have been a constant shuffle of kids, figuring out after school measures and listening to people talk all over town—oh yeah, and a full time job. Well, there was the lady at the meat counter cursing about my husband. There was the man at work questioning his intentions. There was the nosey person asking personal questions. So many rumors, so little time—and it’s not even basketball season yet. I pleaded the fifth to all who inquired. Less is more in my book. People must have nothing else to do with their life, other than speculate. Huge, and I mean, huge kudos to my parents and my sister for their constant support. Oh yeah, and Christina for my ugly cry. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated my mom doing some laundry during the day, my dad golfing with Justice and playing baseball with Cameron, picking up Justice on that ½ day of school and my late night meeting, a meal ready and my sister’s therapy in the mornings. Relationship is about all the little things. I tell my staff to look around. When the going gets tough, who shows up? That’s a powerful message. I'm thankful for my family.

Speaking of showing up, Justice showed up in the dark the other night. I flipped on the light to my room and inquired. He was lying in my robe. He had googled spa music. He said, “Do you mind. I’m the next customer for relax-nation.” My brilliant idea to take him for a massage to help relax has turned into his own version at home. Mom, can we get some oils? Oh my. By the way, the massage was an excellent idea.

Another excellent idea is my sister’s family is moving to Macomb! It will only be an eight month stent, but they will be close. They sold their house and are building another. They are brave. My marriage could never handle construction. Cameron is so good with Tristan, my nephew. He always kisses him real gently and shares his toys. Cameron and I brought Tristan home from daycare last week with us. We got out Cameron’s high chair. Cameron picked their snack, bananas and puppy chow. Tristan was hanging on Cameron’s every laugh. When he went home for the night, Cameron wanted me to hold him on my lap and eat dinner in his ‘ole high chair. Can you say a tad bit jealous? I played along.

Speaking of playing along. This week was National Bosses Day. My super awesome staff put me in a car and dropped me off at the spa. Literally, open door—get out. They know I’m controlling and urgent. (Yet another Keene that needs to relax) It was a great gift. And flowers when I returned. My staff is closer than family. We share our hopes and dreams. We share the good and the bad. And still come back to work the next day. It’s been a hard year for me. My staff has been my rock. Without them I would have crumbled. They prove their's no I in team.

Lastly, before I say farewell one of my former employees was killed this week in a car accident. Very sad. So very sad. I learned a valuable lesson in life and leadership when I heard the news. If you get that feeling you need to sit someone down and talk about life, do it. Listen to that voice. Make the time. I do believe one person can change the world. I’m listening…

QUIET TIME

This picture is one of my favorites. It speaks to me and almost brings tears to my eyes. It says in a very soft whisper, "Shhhhh, theirs peace in Jesus. Just sit quiet and rest my little one. I am here. Let your attention gaze on me and I will throw you a rope. You are safe. Don't hold the remote too tight, I have already picked your program."

Spending some time getting quiet can really be the best remedy for a tangled situations. Taking a step back from all the emotion, frustration, and exhaustion to sit quietly with Jesus will do more to untangle a mess than anything else I’ve ever found. I can honestly say, I've been tangled into the best knot tied this summer. After my warrior-like determination took a long look in the mirror and a few exhales I realized---after all those hurts, scars and bruises, after all those trials, I really made it though. I did it. I survived what was supposed to eat me alive. This picture reminds me I can't do it alone. Rather than use God as my emergency break, he needs to be my steering wheel. In the hustle of 2014 even the best leader can lose sight of the journey and try to use their own remote to pick the program.

Now, back to this picture. Sweet Tristan, my nephew. I love him. He looks so peaceful. In order to find my peace I'm going to set my alarm thirty minutes early for thirty days. I may just sit in my PJ's on the porch and read. Get my mind untangled before I start the day. Maybe someone will whisper to me, "Shhhh, theirs peace in Jesus. Just sit quiet and rest my little one. I am here. Let your attention gaze on me and I will throw you a rope. You are safe. Don't hold the remote too tight, I have already picked your program."

I HEARD HOLDING ON TO THE DOOR FRAME MEANS BUSINESS FOR TRISTY!!

NO IS A DIRTY WORD

One negative fifty-four degree night in January this fluffy little cat showed up on our porch. Coach kept telling me NO, but did I listen? I could not let her freeze to death; Heck we were cold in the house. The boys and I made her a bed in our laundry room and gave her a name. Bomber---she was black and orange. Perfect! She really is a nice cat. As soon as it warmed up Bomber went back outside. A few months later, she had three kittens. "Are we keeping them mom? Mom, we can't give her babies away." Again, didnt say NO. Leo, Buttercup and Scaredy-Cat now became my grandchildren. (On a side bar--Cameron named them) Buttercup and Scaredy-Cat went on "vacation"--yikes, it was sad. Cameron says they went to Florida. Leo is still hanging around. Well--here we are--a few more months later. Bomber gave birth on Thursday night to six, yes six, kitties. Two went to heaven. Cameron, the official cat-namer has decided on Sunshine, Scout, Hershey and Tooties Roll. Just think if we just would have said NO that very cold night all the fun we would have missed.

Speaking of saying NO--Justice has no problem with it. This often gets him a spanking or a trip to time out. I showed him a house I really liked on the internet this weekend. His response was, "Woman, do you have any idea what the property tax will be--geesh!" Unfortunately, he's probably right. I guess I'll say NO.

Cameron told me he has tons of friends at school. I asked him, "how do you have so many friends?" He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "I never tell anyone NO when they want to play with me. duh." This seems to work in pre-school, not so much on the adult play ground. I praised him for always being a friend and left it at that. I was to tired for a life lesson. Why you ask, because I had said yes for to many requests that day. Shocker.

Another shocker in Keeneville is we lost Coach two months early this season. Why you ask? Well, he can't say no either. When he says yes, there's a ripple effect. And most of that ripple floods on good ole mom. More weekends cooking, cleaning and schedules preparing for the next week. More running kids places and dinners alone. More feelings like I am carrying the burden and it kinda makes me sad. Less time to relax, take a long walk or maybe do something just for me. It's very hurtful that everyone wants mom to have the big job and make the big money; but everyone see's Coach as the hero. Most people say NO to giving me any empathy. And that's all I'm looking for, empathy. (Kudos to my sister and my business manger for being my support) Anyhoo, I'll save it for my therapist and say NO to sharing more thoughts.


I am convinced that one of the main reasons our lives get out of balance is because of that dirty word NO. It just comes natural for us to be multi-taskers and people-pleasers. We Keene's don’t want to disappoint anybody. But the truth is, we can't do it all. So, I’m learning to say NO to a lot of requests for my time, especially now. That way I’ll have the energy and emotion I need to give to those closest to me. I know I’ll disappoint someone but I won’t be as likely to disappoint those I love most, which includes God and my family. For now, I'm going to say NO to a Sunday afternoon nap and finish my six meals ready for this crazy week, the 4 loads of laundry and our dirty house. I'm saying YES to interviewing a housekeeper...

MY QUIET FIVE YEAR OLD--DOIN WHAT HE LOVES

THE BIG FIVE!!

Happy Birthday Cameron!

Times flies when your always on the go. You love Ninja Turtles, Power rangers and riding your bike. You and Justice fight like cats and dogs, but by the end of the night you cuddle to sleep together. Purple used to be your favorite color, now its blue. Wonder what it will be next week? Your a very picky lil eater. Grilled Cheese, chicken strips, mac and cheese and hotdogs are your favs. You beg to eat in the living room every night, but rarely win. Mom kinda likes us all around the table, darn it. You love pre-school and Ms. Wendy is best. You have friends and play well with others. Your an artist. You love to paint. You will sit for hours to get all the pieces of the puzzle perfectly in their place. You like to wrestle with daddy. You carry all the outside kitties around in your truck, and I think they kinda like it. Your my love bean. My lamma lamma blue pajama. My snuggle puppy. You always want mommy at night. Your three blue blankets go everywhere with you. Not to mention that one secret item we don't talk about. Oh yeah, don't forget Pepper. FIVE will be a big year, kindergarten, that big yellow bus and new routines. I know you will be great. Your super smart and impress me everyday. Your the finale to our Keene foursome. (thank goodness) I can't wait to see what life has in store for you Cameron. Your a winner and God has big plans. Until then, we'll just eat cookies, go to the park and watch Ninja Turtles.

I love you,
Mom

TRAFFIC

Where are all these cars going? It's two in the afternoon on a Tuesday. I've counted sixty-three cars in twelve minutes fly up and down West Adams? Seriously? I have stationed myself, recovering from my 3rd case of pnemonia in the last year, on the front porch to get some sun and fresh air. And here comes the Schwan's man. Don't even think about....phew. Dodged that. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. Last year I would have went to work today. A year older and now wiser I stayed home to truly get more rest. That's why God made sick days, right?

Speaking of traffic, remember last years stray cat that showed up? Well, she's obviously had a little traffic of her own. She's "with kitties". This is her second litter since she has became a regular outside. One is left from her first litter, Leo. The other two went on "vacation". I told Cameron, "See Bombers belly, shes gonna have more kitties!" Cameron says, "She's just like Aunt Ashley. She keeps waking up pregnant." Boy, I could't wait to tell my sister this one.

Speaking of traffic, the kid across the street is home. Again, Tuesday---two in the afternoon. He's standing on the curb by the mailbox. I finally figured out what hes up to. He's tapping into our internet. That lil sneak. I have a notion to walk over and give him some guidelines of what is off limits to search! My eight year old is looking at golf highlights. Gotta think our teenage neighbor might not be into searching golf. Let this be the disclaimer--if the FBI shows up at the Keene ranch---send them across the street!

Traffic will be high in Rushville this week. Smile's Day. Floats. High School Bands. And don't forget the horses at the end of the parade. This year is my twenty year class reunion. (Note to self---spend birthday money on botox and a facial) I had a great time at my ten year. Honestly, I think Coach had a greater time. I don't have any plans to drive south this year for the reunion. Am I weird? Am I the only Schuyler County girl that does not mark her calendar for Smiles Day? Maybe so. Coach taught and coached at Rushville for a few years when we were first married. I got a do-over at being a Rushville Rocket--as a coaches wife. This time around I didn't have the popular girls making fun of me. No one to sit with in the lunch room. I was not "weird" because I played golf on a boys golf team. I won't list all of my high school nightmares; this time around I just got to be me. Coach and I went to football games and bonfires. We ate at Pizza Unlimited after games. He rode on a float at Smiles Day. Heck, we even chaproned prom. BEST. TIME. EVER. I think this short sabatical made up for my crappy high school memories and I moved on. Don't get me wrong the traffic in my heart will always pound when I see the Schuyler County sign, just in a different lane of life now.

My goal is to add a yellow light to my personal lane of traffic for the next few months. I need to slow down. And maybe, not care so much. Passion can suck the living life out of a gal. I could be their poster child. As I type my house is a mess. Don't care. We live here. As I type I don't have a clue what we will eat for supper. Don't care. We will work it out. As I type I WISH I could do over my birthday healthy. I DO care. So for now I am just sitting, at the red light, for the rest of the day. Or at least till my kids get out of school and wonder why the house is a mess and their is nothing to eat for supper.

38---Permission To Be...

Happy Birthday to me....

Thirty-eight is right smack in the middle of life. Thirty-eight is realizing there are just as many years ahead of you, as behind you. Its realizing that decisions made now, most were learning lessons. Its realizing that certain doors are closed for good. Thirty-eight answers those burning childhood questions about life. Blonde, blue eyes, two boys, house, and a cat.

Thirty-eight are those lines around my eyes. The dark circles under my eyes. Thirty-eight is responsbility and less fun. Thirty-eight is being the boss. Thirty-eight is more about making the best decision, rather than the most popular decision. Thirty-eight is realizing that bad things happen for a reason, even when you were wrongly fired. Thirty-eight professionally stands your ground when you believe in the cause.

Thirty-eight is wearing my wedding ring. Thirty-eight is not knowing which ring was my wedding ring and which one was my five year anniversary gift because they are identical.

Thirty-eight is realizing what shorts are to short. Thirty-eight is moving from a bikini to a tankini or even a one piece. Thirty-eight is about working out, not eating like a cow and still gaining weight. Thirty-eight is about trying to embrace the baby body left behind.

Thirty-eight is taking an all inclusive vacation for 3 nights just to sleep and read all day. Thirty-eight is a mini vacation to the grocery store. Thirty-eight is making a trip to the movie theater only to see a kids flick.

Thirty-eight is eleven years of marriage. Its knowing that marriage is less about keeping score, less candlelight dinners, less drama, more forgiveness, more teamwork and more empathy. Fewer flowers, but more cups of tea made exactally how I like them without being asked and brought to the bathroom while I get ready for work. Everyday. Yep, everyday.

Thirty-eight is losing your grandparents. Going to more funerals and hearing about someones newly diagnosed illness. Thirty-eight is the middle place. Its when you see your parents changing and turning grey.

Thirty-eight is knowing who your friends are, for real. Thirty-eight is realizing that not everyone will like you and its okay. Thirty-eight is becoming more sensitive and more aware of lifes beauty and pain. Thirty-eight knows my sister is my best friend. Thirty-eight looks forward to our ten min talks before work. Thirty-eight still thinks of her in those pink jelly shoes waiting at the front door after school to greet me. Thirty-eight is knowing how to be emotionally mature on social media when others are not nice. Thirty-eight is making people speak to you when you know it killed them to acknowledge your presence.

Thirty-eight is a love affair with motherhood. Thirty-eight is watching these little teeny people bloom and grown into big kids. Thirty-eight is about pre-school and third grade, putting kids on a bus and praying they get off at the right stop. Thirty-eight is about tiny peoples questions after questions and trying to keep your patience while you answer over and over. Thirty-eight is comparing yourself to all the other moms at school, ugh. Thirty-eight is still cool to kiss your mom good-bye and cheer when you pick them up.

Thirty-eight is not afraid to pray in a crowd. Thirty-eight allows you to share your faith and not worry about what others might think. Thirty-eight realizes the power of God, the healing of his peace and trusting him is vital. Thirty-eight listens to christian talk radio all the way to work and home, just to get a nugget of hope for the day.

Thirty-eight is going to be my year of change. The year I put myself first and realize if I'm not healthy, how can I take care of others? Thirty-eight is going to leave the laundry for another day to play Ninja turtles in the living room. Thirty-eight will rebound for Justice in the drive. Thirty-eight is loving my nephew so much it hurts; and becoming an Aunt again. Thirty-eight; I finally get that little girl we have all dreamed about. (whoa, my sister is having a girl, not me) Thirty-eight is going to take more days off. Thirty-eight just might start golfing again. Thirty-eight is okay with a long weekend just sitting on the porch. My birthday gift to myself today is permission. Permission to just take a deep breath and be. Just be...

Never Give Up---EVER.

I love the message on Cameron's shirt tonight, not to mention the pose. Never Give Up! Coaches kids are trained everyday to keep on keeping on--no matter what. It's easy for parents to push this life lesson, but living it ourselves is sometimes the hardest part.

This week has been a career three-peat for Momma K. Our community got a perfect on their health inspection. Perfect on our State Survey inspection and reached the mark of 100% occupied with a wait list. This tri-factor is very rare, let alone all three in the same week. People go their entire career and don't see results like this.

Never Give Up! I have spent everyday, every weekend, every hour since March of 2013 trying to figure out ways to reach this goal. My kids have asked nightly at the dinner table, "Are you full mom?" Heck, Justice even tries to move people in. My team has lived it and owned it. We have been so close and taken six steps backward to heartache. We have cheered. We have cried. We have pushed each other. We have lost employees, but we never gave up. Ever. These eighteen months have taught us more about adversity and character than any assignment before. I am so proud to call these people my team. The victory feels so sweet and now we start the next chapter.

Today's morning huddle speech I gave was about Duke Basketball. (Yep--Love me some Coach K) Why do people hate Duke? They win; and continue to win. I asked who loves winning at this board room table? If you don't answer yes--then you might re-think your seat. We are now Duke. You have won the NCAA Championship, but guess what? The hardest part to staying a winner is the continued struggle. The continued push to excellence. Anyone can win, but can you stay a winner? Enjoy today; but never give up. Never.

Justice and Coach got an "up close" look at the traveling Heisman Trophy

Justice is a HUGE fan of Chris Duerr. He got a backstage pass this summer as a guest on KHQA---He was in heaven!

Front Porch-itis

Life is much better on the front porch.

If your headed west to the outskirts of Macomb there's a pretty good chance our foursome will be outside. Justice will be golfing, or working on his swing, as he likes to say. Cameron will be sitting in a tree. The one in the front yard is best. He says its magic. And you will find mom and dad sitting on the front porch. Feet up--on these awesome cushions from Kohl's. Normally, ice tea with a slice of lemon in hand, solving the worlds problems---or snoring with our mouth open wide. Whichever comes first. Our front porch is like an extension of our house when the temperatures hit 55. All winter we have no place to hide from each other inside, literally. When the weather breaks we can't wait to escape to porch.


Sitting on the porch tonight, sipping some H20 with lemon out of my favorite glass, I was thinking about the Leadership Lessons I've learned out here---


1- To catch a breeze (really inhale the air, take in the freshness) Even on the hottest days, we have a breeze on our front porch; it amazing. I have to think, even in the most difficult leadership moments, we all need to just step away....deep breath.

2-Watching my kiddos play in the yard. What? They’re not out in the yard? Bring 'em out. When I engage in watching my kids use their imagination it makes me more creative. When I engage in my staff and ask questions I learn more about their reality. Win/Win

3-It’s a great place to converse with your spouse at the end of the day. I am a better leader when I have a balance. Spending time with my favorite coach helps ground me in a more productive way. It lifts my spirits and calms my mind. Don't forget to have a life...

4- There’s no TV out there. (Thank God.) I really don't like TV. Enough said.

5- To pray. In the quiet of being alone in my rocker, prayer keeps me from falling off my rocker, literally. Quiet time outside makes me look around and realize I don't have to live in crazy, I can just be. Be one with him on the porch. When I am one with God on the porch, I have a better perspective in the office.

6-You see the house from the outside in, giving you a fresh ideal. Thinking outside of the box is creative, but thinking inside of the box is innovative.

7-It reminds me of my college home--Mississippi and Southern Traditions. Can't forget our manners in leadership. Sometimes its more important to be quiet, than to be right.

8-If you need a quick break, the kids probably won’t look there. My door is always open at work. When I give myself permission to shut the door, the kids think I'm out to a meeting. It's okay to take some quiet time and focus.

9-To read. Leaders ARE readers. You must be a student of life in order to keep your edge.

10-It’s the perfect place to think. To question. To wonder. To contemplate--I've even did it in my winter coat and hat.

I really would like a house with more room. Yea, I look on realtor.com all the time for the "perfect" new listing. Just when I think, hey--hey, this could be THE ONE; I find myself getting suckered back by the tranquility of our front porch. AND the fact that Coach refuses to move. Anyhoo, if you need me afterwork hours, just drive by and honk. Chances are we're on the front porch. Justice is golfing. And Cameron is in the front tree.

I Fed This LIl Swimmer Cookies ALL Day--Can You See The Leftovers On His Chin--- :)

Justice and Tristan Watching Cameron Jump In The Pool!